Friday, July 16, 2010

Faith

This week is my final week of freedom. The second semester of the year starts next week.

After which, it means another (and potentially the final) round of stress, assignments, tutorial works, and exams. Seriously I dread exams. I realize I always do not perform my best in exams. Perhaps it's cos I overstress myself prior to the exams that during the actual exam day itself I have no more willpower to sustain the mood and thus, I under-perform. Sometimes I feel very angry with that attitude of mine too.

For the coming semester, I hope for consistent hard work. I hope I will sustain the mood to study and always keep up with syllabus. I think I am really poor in time management. This shall be something about me that I need to observe and hopefully improve the next semester. It is my final semester, and I just needa nail it.

And I am writing this so that when I look back, I remember this is what I wanted to strive for. So much thoughts flowing through my mind now - thoughts regarding my academic life which is coming to an end, my career life which is drawing closer and closer, and my achievements in life so far. I am still looking for my talent and something that I would excel in but unfortunately, I just can't seem to find a satisfying answer yet.

And the more this happens, the less faith I have in life. Sometimes when you see people achieving what you've always strived for, you ask yourself, where did you go wrong? If you've worked hard and they too worked hard, but they achieved so much more than you did, then how much more hard work do you have to put in to gain the equivalent amount as what they have gained?

Life isn't fair. Some are born with natural talents and are good in everything without trying much; while for people like me, I have never been the brightest kid in town, nor the handsomest among the rest. And therefore there's a lot more for me to do in order to be on par with others. This is, indeed, very tiring. But I shall take the remaining semester as a real challenge, and continue fighting to at least gain as much as I can before my opportunity dies down.

Please, God bless me. Thank you.



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